1.) Can I Hear ‘dat Booty Though!

When you see someone who has trained for strength for a year or more one thing that will stick out at you (quite literally) is their bodacious booty. This is in large part because of the massive posterior chain activation that the squat and deadlift garner. I know that everyone out there has heard that the squat, bench, overhead press and deadlift should make up the bread and butter of your training because (insert awesome reason akin to super powers), however, the real reason is because of how much musculature those movements use.

When you squat you activate everything from the stabilizers in your feet to muscles in your neck, and the same is true for the deadlift (probably more true). Believe it or not, if you bench like a powerlifter you’ll activate your glutes too, and yes you should squeeze your cute little booty when you overhead press. Yet for whatever reason people ignore these basic movements, and if we’re being honest it’s because the movements are far from basic. However, once these movements are mastered and you advance past the basic level, you too can shoot lasers from your eyes. Errr I mean have buns of steel.

Here’s a link to some the articles of one of the best minds in building muscle and strength: 

Bret Contreras                   

 Also try out elitefts.com, t-nation.com and bodybuilding.com

2.) No shirt no Problem (except in stores, they’ll still kick you out)

Jacked and strong people look better than fat people when they take their shirts off, this is a know fact. Unless you would rather watch that guy on the beach use his belly button to store his car keys and kidnap terrified beach bums. All joking aside this point can actually save lives! For example: If a fire breaks out your man boobs won’t keep you from being the hero that used his shirt to douse the flames. We all know the real reason for this point though, sex with the lights on. Okay moving on.

3.) Confidence

Imagine there’s some jerk in your face who just won’t leave you alone because you bumped into him, and he spilled ONE drop of his mocha white girl chai latte double espresso low carb coffee on his vegan, organically watered grass shoes (did he mention he’s a vegan yet). Before you were super strong this might have bothered you and you may have even offered to buy him a brand new drink, despite the fact that he still has 98.7% of his drink remaining. However, now that you’re strong as hell and you can deadlift his high efficiency vehicle, you just apologize and move on with your life.

Not all situations have to be this dramatic (stupid), but you get the point. When you gain strength you also gain confidence, which shows through in all facets of your life. Your mood from day to day will improve, everyday tasks become easier and those people who bothered you before don’t matter anymore because you have a goal and a lifestyle. Strength is something no one can take away from you because it’s not given it’s earned. I’ve never heard of anyone getting a participation trophy for failing a lift, just saying. Oh and it’s worth mentioning again…. sex with the lights on.

4.) Increased Health and Standard of Life

Do you love your kids, wife, girlfriend, dog or pet rock? Do you want to be around for the things in your life that you love? Okay great, so now that we’ve established that you don’t plan on dying and leaving your pet rock without its doting owner let’s talk about getting healthy.

Training for strength is as simple as picking something up and putting it back down in the same spot for multiple reps, yet some people have no idea how to get started. If you don’t know where to start I recommend hiring a personal trainer, emailing me (shameless self-promotion), or buying a book on fitness like 5/3/1 or Starting Strength. Now that we have the advice out of the way, lets get back to the funny stuff you’re reading this article for.

Your bone density will improve (oh look a sly sex joke), which means you’re now officially harder to break, congratulations. Along with this, training for strength obviously strengthens the muscles, which allows for you to move progressively heavier loads, which in turn means you’re now a bad ass.

As you progress along this journey of strength you may also notice that chasing your kids around the yard has become easier, that sweeping your significant other off their feet is less taxing and that your pet rock has lost weight due to increased exercise. These are all benefits of training for strength that are hard to ignore and once you reap the benefits you’ll never want to stop.

For some of you slow people out there exercise will increase your aerobic capacity, your muscular strength and help your pet rock lose weight.

The biggest impact strength training has on your health isn’t physical, it’s psychological. Yes you’ll probably live longer, yes you can now see your dick (I mean toes), but nothing compares to the satisfaction from a hard workout. Once you train the rest of your problems become less significant and your mental state stabilizes. Exercise actually releases hormones into your body that improves your mood, but we’ll talk about that later.


5.) It’s not boring ass cardio

How many of you stopped going to the gym because you hated that stupid treadmill? I would never set foot in a gym again if all I got to do was walk in the same place for an hour. If that’s what being fit meant, I would happily sit my ass on a couch and do nothing but play video games and eat food. Thankfully fitness and strength has room for everyone! If you love cardio (why?) then great there are treadmills. If you like cross fit (I’m sure you pay your chiropractor’s bills on your own) then great butterfly kip away! If you like bodybuilding (don’t forget that you should shave your butt before you step on stage) then go nuts for bodybuilding. My point is that the fit community has room for you, no matter what level you’re at, no matter what gender/race/sexual identity you are. Yes there is a place in fitness for you even if you’re a vegan, despite the fact that I made fun of a vegan earlier.

Find your place in the fitness community so that you too can end pet rock obesity.

Until next time,

Your friendly neighborhood gym rat