We live in a world where everyone wants to look like a bikini competitor that they see on their instagram feed. Half of these bikini competitor’s run around half-naked and showing off their sweet sweat product or their cleansing tea. The sad part is we have people who fall for this crap, and I’ve fallen for it too. Not sweet sweat because I don’t give a shit if my sweat smells like daisies, to be honest I don’t see the appeal for this product… Anywho, I’ve fallen for the pre-workout craze that promised skin splitting pumps and crazy strength gains, and of course I was very disappointed. My skin stayed intact and I was still super weak, also all of those smoking hot babes on the advertisement never wanted to have sex with me… Damn you marketing!
The first reason you’re fat is because you look for quick fixes rather than a long term solution. The above example is obviously a little extreme, but people fall for this stuff all the time. Every time a new diet hits the market people are willing to curse carbs, or only eat 7 grapes a day. While all of these diets have the basics what they miss are all the important aspects of what makes a human a human. All you need to do to lose weight is consume less calories than you burn, and eating 7 grapes a day certainly puts you in a caloric deficit! However, is it ideal or even good for you? Hell no! All it does is leave you starved and the weight you lose just comes back once you resume your normal diet. All you learned is that crash diets don’t work, yet you go looking for a new one. The way you can fix this is to do some research on nutrition and understand the importance of a balanced diet. Once you do some research you won’t fall for bullshit diets or supplement scams, along with all of this you can now make your own meal plan to achieve your goals. Now you don’t need those sexy girls on the poster because you are that girl! Well at least a healthier version of yourself.
The second reason you’re fat is because you’re lazy, that’s right I just called you lazy!
“I don’t want to lift weights, it’s too hard and intimidating.”
“I don’t have time to cook so I eat Lean Cuisine three times a day.”
I just lifted weights so I’m going to skip cardio.”
I’m sure you’ve heard and used some of these excuses because I know I have, but they’re holding you back. Look I understand that life is busy, your kids have practice, you have to work, your husband expects the house to be clean (tell his ass to clean) or what have you. However, if you’re serious about being a healthier version of you then you need to get past these excuses and make time. The way I look at it is that everyone has the same 24 hours in the day, yet only a small percentage are able to stay fit. This happens because you have priorities above fitness, as you should, but this doesn’t mean that your body should take a back seat to your life. If the President has time to workout so do you, so shut the hell up and get to the gym. The solution to the laziness problem is to understand that it’s not a lack of time that keeps you out of the gym but a lack of will. I can almost guarantee that your gym is open at 5 AM, and if that’s the only time you train then I guess your ass is getting up at 4:3o to get to the gym at 5. Before you say easier said than done, I did this for two years in high school. I was in a challenging academic program and had tennis practice until 6:30 every night. After that I had homework, so I couldnt’ train at night, but guess what I trained in the morning. If a dumb 17-year-old kid can get up at 4:30 so can you (thank god I don’t have to do this anymore).
The third reason you’re still fat is because you focus on too many things at once. Our society loves to multi-task, in fact we love it so much that we ask our employees to be good at it. However, multi-tasking is very counterproductive, one thing that many people don’t know is the origin of multi-tasking. The term comes from computers which seem to juggle multiple tasks at once, and at blinding speeds. CPUs process so fast that they seem to be doing all these tasks at once, but they are actually switching between tasks at a high-speed. The human brain cannot do this effectively, once you decide to focus on something you should stick with it because switching to other tasks makes you lose productivity. Have you noticed that if you’re writing a report for work that texting can throw you off track for minutes? It’s because you can’t multi-task, multi-tasking is a lie and it’s one that we praise. If you think you’re a good multi-tasker then you’re literally just good at being inefficient, the people who do the most work focus the most intensely. The reason I bring this up is because we try to multi-task our fitness, have you seen the guy who texts his whole workout? He’s probably not getting to his goals anytime soon. How about the girl who is too busy taking selfies to finish her squats? Yep, she probably won’t get to where she wants to either. It’s the people who have the ability to take the hour they have to workout and kill it who are successful. No gimmicks, no bullshit, just hard-ass work that no one wants to do anymore. The solution to multi-tasking? Pick a playlist, put your headphones in, turn your phone on do not disturb and turn the gym into your playground. Simple and easy to do, just let the crap in your life not matter for one hour a day.
Let’s go to fitness AA for a second.
“Hi my name is (insert name) and I suffer from excusitis, laziness and multi-tasking.”
“Hi (insert name).”
Now that we have that out of the way you know what to do.
Until Next Time,
Don’t be a lazy ass